b3nb3n

How Great is our God..

2010-10-25T01:11:00.002+08:00

As i type this post now..
I can strongly feel the strong presense of God..
I can feel the peace.. At the same time, feel the joy..
The joy of the Lord is really my strength.. Just as I was feeling really tired and down..
Here I am fully rejuvernated!!! Recharged!!!

O how much i love to dwell into Your presence..
What am i without You..
How can i live with You??
At the end of the day, I can hereby conclude that...
God is never too late, never too early.. But ALWAYS JUST ON TIME!!!
Praise God for his Faithfulness and His Awesomeness..
HE IS JUST REALLY COOL!!!

Emotional Roller Coaster

2010-10-22T01:15:00.003+08:00

As i look back into my life today..
I realise that all this while, I've indeed been lying to myself..
I mean.. really lying to myself.. A LOT!!
Deep down inside all this while, I have been lying to myself..
Over the many many occasions in my life, people has asked me about me, having regrets in life..
I would end up pondering and go "hmmmm.. definitely not.."

But being human beings.. I do have my regrets..
My biggest and only regret was not to cherish those who I am crazily in love with..
I would just end up letting my heart sway and end up making the same mistake over and over again..
Time and time again i told myself that I would never allow such things to happen to me..
But as time and time goes by, it just fall weakness to it and it puts me down..
I seriously abhore this roller coaster ride..
This turmoil within my emotions that I am in right now and really often..
I would just bottle up everything till one day, I reach my breaking point and go "BOOOM"..
Sad to say time and again, I just allow myself to fall prey by such thoughts and feelings..
As i type this post with tears in my eyes..
Deep down i told myself, no matter how man or strong i can be..
I am still human being..
I admit it I am weak.. I do, as well, need support from others..

C'mon Ben!!!! You gotta seriously be a man!! *Slap myself twice*
Stay Strong.. Fight on..
Believe in God!!!
Where is your faith you little fool!!!
How dumb can you be?
Are you gonna just let the devil win this long term battle?
Think about it, why is such a thing always happening to you??
It just can mean only one thing..
YES!! JUST ONE THING..
YOU HAVE YET TO GROW UP IN THIS AREA!!!
Be strong Ben.. Be strong..
You can do it..

I admit Father, that I am weak.. I truly need You.. Please be there for me Father..

2010-10-11T03:48:00.001+08:00

Spiritual warefare in the mind was going on..
But however,
I've won and satan's defeated!!
Praise God..
Amen =)

Post of August

2010-08-20T02:19:00.002+08:00

August = a month that is extremely busy, tiring, but absolutely fruitful

Working in Marsiling Secondary now as a long-term relief teacher..

I love my job =))

Doctors and more Doctors

2010-07-30T02:33:00.003+08:00

Hey everyone!!!
In my last post, i stated that i went for an MRI scan. 2 days ago, I went back down to the hospital with Henry (thanks for accompanying me mate) to collect my results.

Based on the results, these is the diagnosis.
Below is a picture of a human back with a picture depicting the human anatomy.

As you can see in this picture, it shows a few things. Firstly, it's the 2 arrows. Apparently, I had Spinal Disc Herniation, commonly known as slipped disc. It happens where as said by wikipedia, is a medical condition affecting the spine, in which a tear in the outer, fibrous ring (annulus fibrosus) of an intervertebral disc (discus intervertebralis) allows the soft, central portion (nucleus pulposus) to bulge out.

I had my disc slipped off along in between my 12th Thoracic Spine and my 1st Lumbar Spine, as well as between my 4th and 5th Lumbar Spine. Due to that, i had my muscles heavily thorn and damaged within the red sprayed pain area. That was my complete medical diagnosis.

Really really wanna thank God for no nerve damages, if not, i will have to go for surgery. As for now, I will have to go through few months to a year of intense physiotherapy.

Headed down to CMPB today for my Body Checkup for my National Service. I was assigned a Pest D, which is under pending, due to the Medical Officer (MO) needing my medical report from the hospital before further diagnosis. The other parts of my screening were under Pest A, which is very fit. Thank God for a Healthy Body.

So as for now, just will have to wait for the letter before heading onto my next phrase of life which is to serve my army. Best wishes to me then =))))

MRI scanning day

2010-07-21T03:50:00.002+08:00

Just went for an MRI scan yesterday at the very new Khoo Teck Puat Hospital (KTPH). This is the 2nd time i went for an MRI scan. The very 1st time for about 12 years ago and i did an MRI on my brain to test for any complications within my brain that caused my nose to bleed all the time.

So what was the reason behind me going for an MRI scan yesterday?

I have been suffering from a serious back injury for a long time, approximately 2 to 3 years i suppose? or should i say that the pain and numbness has been instilled with me for so long that i just lived with it like as though it has been a part of my daily life. I have gone through physiotheraphy both in Singapore and Australia over the years to ease the pain. However, due to my work load in the Food and Beverage Industry, which requires long standing hours and labour intensive with heavy manual handling, i ended up not having my injury well recovered. I have been surviving on painkillers and vitamin B12 supplements to strengthen my nerves to ensure that it's strong enough to support my back and my day to day living.

So this results will actually determine my future in the singapore army. Doctors suspected of a slip disc and there is a really high probability of me having to go for surgery, which after the surgery, i will have to learn how to walk again. This is gonna be a long time and a hard time of rehabilitation.

As i went into the MRI, i realise that i am a bit claustrophobic, which is being afraid of confined spaces. I realised that i almost got into a state of panic being placed inside a tube for the scan.

Well, shall see how things go. The results will be out on the 27 of july, where I will know the outcome of my future. As of now, I am believing in God that He will have everything sorted out for me in my future. Just waiting for me to proceed and grab it.

1st proper post of singapore

2010-07-14T05:31:00.014+08:00

Alright people,
Just to let everyone know (whoever that bothers to read this post),
BENBEN is back in Singapore!!! *claps claps*
Actually, it's something that happened 2 weeks ago..

I landed exactly 2 weeks ago at 0302 hours at Budget terminal of Singapore..
Just to update to everyone on how my life has been,
i would use these words as the perfect description for it..

1) BORING.. BORED TO TEARS!!!

2) Fruitful
a. Made New Friends
b. Caught up with some mates
c. Seeing people growing

3) IMPACTING
a. Service and CGs
b. Self-actualisation based on having reflections
c. Gestures and doings of people

Not forgetting I will also be talking about my future plans from here =)))

Alright, shall be talking about my doings the past 2 weeks and the thoughts that have hit onto my head recently.

These few days, I have been feeling really bored, as in YES, EXTREMELY BORED!!
Reason being that I have been really doing nothing really that productive and just staying at home, rotting in front of my internet, not able to sleep as my energy output compared to last time is so much lesser to now, thus, i really need to burn heaps of energy before i could really sleep.. I was so bored to the extend that I have officially accomplished to watched finish a whole 16 episode korean drama in just 4 days!! considering that it was over a saturday to tuesday and having heaps of activities..

(Credits to Google Images for the picture)

The korean drama which i've caught was Personal Taste, 4.7/5 stars in my opinion, a really awesome drama, got my emotions stirred along with the drama as i carry on watching each episode. I highly recommend it to people who feel bored like me to watch it.

This trip back has been extremely fruitful. I have made a few friends who are really really awesome people to meet. It first started from this girl named Jindee, who is half thai and peranakan, Singaporean, Physiotherapist at Changi Hospital and for the Young Lions (soccer team) as well.. We chatted the entire journey back and we even had a few drinks and awesome time chatting with each other, getting to know each other throughout that 5 hours on the plane. I added her on facebook even once I came back =)

Just a yesterday, I have made a group of friends who are karmen and esther's friends. They are from Choir Ministry in Church. Blythe and Aaron, the 1st 2 whom I've met were at Karmen's house ystd to give her a big surprise. Really awesome of them to come all the way down. After that, I was introduce to Gabriel and Weiye, whom are friends of Blythe and Aaron, from CHC as well. We had maccas for supper and went to Lan and played L4D2 till like bloody 5am, mac brekky. Really super good company and they will jio me out for more activities in the future as well.

Throughout the past week, I have caught up with a few mates, they are:
- Yong Gao,
- W193,
- N246,
- MSL Badminton (Teachers, Students and Coaches)
- Juli (met coincidentally at Waterfront)
- Mas (met coincidentally at RP)
- NJ and YK (not much, but awesome to see them!!)
- Shi Ni (Met up a few times to chat and makan supper tgt, ok lah, i eat, she watch)
etc etc...

I really look forward to catch up with the rest of my mates, everyone seems so busy with work and school lately, since considering most of my friends are either working or in poly year 3 already, rushing their Final Year Project (FYP).

I also manage to meet a cyber friend of mine, who was introduced by Fiona of E499. Yan Ee to me, is someone who's a really really really really awesome person. Her name is Yan Ee. She is someone who's really smart, talented in cooking, SUPER PASSIONATE about what she does. She loves food even more than me. She has a BIG BIG dream, of opening her own bakery one day. Something that I really respect her for. I will post her picture one day!! (I FORGOTTEN TO TAKE PICTURE WITH HER SO FAR!!)

These 2 weeks, I have also done these followings
- Went with Jermaine Mummy for Shopping at Orchard
- Movie (Knight and Day) with Alicia Khoo Shorty
- Coincidentally meeting Shi Ni, Yk and NJ at Cineleisure while movie with Alicia
- Fellowship with Reeve, Jermaine, Shi Han, Ming Fu, Pei Wen and a new friend of mine, Flinton.
- Movie, Pool, Makan, Bakerzin with Liwei, Jermaine, Vincent, Reeve and Shi Han
- Badminton and Makan with Pingping, Norine, Nson, Chowleng and Wei Ling
- Po po's birthday gathering with Family
etc etc

Here are a few photos from the occasions
With Alicia after the movie.. I feel she still looks the same over the years =X
Met Shi Ni and NJ coincidentally.. AWESOME friends to have =))))))
Bakerzin.. Jermaine with her Profiteroles!!! SUPER AWESOME!! SINFUL!!!

Profiteroles up-close..

Liwei with her Blackforest cake and latte =)))))
My waffle with ice-cream and strawberry coulis!!! AWESOME!! the waffle is so cripsy!!!
Expert reeve using his maths, physics calculations before he hit the ball.. HAHAHAHAHAHA =X
At City Hall on the way to Expo for service with Jermaine.. I love this pic a lot.. isn't she pretty??
___________________
As I return back to Singapore this time round, I began to see so many people around me growing. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually as well. It's something really really really AWESOME to see such a thing happening. I suppose at the end of the day, it's when you leave someone or somewhere for a certain period of time, you will actually only by then realise about such improvments and changes that happen to people who actually used to be around you every single day, where you will not really realise that they have truly grown over the time. An example will be my juniors, becoming taller, but also more mature in their thinking nowadays. Though they might have conflict, but they deal with it in a much more mature manner, just like an adult with effective conflict resolution skills, hopefully having a win-win situation based on the conflict.

These past 2 weeks has been really impacting for me, espcially towards my personal and spiritual life. At the end of the day, all i can say is, Praise God, Thanks for setting me free from my struggles. Especially in the area of Lust, Pride and Self-doubt and some self-esteem problems. Yes, I do have my own struggles as well, but however, I've learnt on Saturday during service to really lift it up to the Lord, and He is definitely with me all the time, guiding me along as I step into my Wilderness. Praise God for that Awesome Day. I feel realy different, someone really new. I no longer struggle with problems of self-doubt anymore. I used to tell people how bad am i but now, I strongly believe that Benjamin is created like that and that's what makes him unique, he is a child of the most high God the Father who's in heaven.

I realise I'm someone with this habit that once i start walking around alone, I will just start thinking and reflecting on things that has happened and try to find ways to learn from it to become a better person. Over the past few weeks, I truly began to realise what was truly missing from my life, at a point of time, I just feel that it might be love and I might have a need of having love from someone, hopefully a girlfriend, someone who truly love me. I was wondering, considering that I have been winning all those awards and prizes over the past year, I kept on having those empty feelings within myself. However, once, a revelation just hit me, I was prompted in the Holy Spirit and in the end, I realise this during one of my personal times walking aimlessly. I realised that I don't feel a sense of satisfaction was because I was doing all those things not totally relying on God at all, I realise that it was totally based on my own personal strength. Imagine how magnificient things will become if I rely on God instead.

So now the question most people will be asking me now is this - What is your next plan Ben?? What do you intend to do now since it's a few months before your national service??

My answer is going to be, work, earn some pocket money, spent more quality time with people around me, get myself all fit and ready for my National Service.

Alright people, have an awesome week ahead, best wishes from me to those who are having exams now =))))))))))))

Happy 20th Birthday to the Beautiful Karmen!!!! YOU GO GIRL!!! =)))) <3

2010-07-11T04:18:00.002+08:00

what kind of a person do you think i am??
What kind of a man will i be one day???
I wonder..

2010-06-15T01:12:00.001+08:00

at times i just wonder.. is it worth it to go back???

How long more...

2010-05-27T00:16:00.002+08:00

It all started out back a few years ago when i was back as a student in my secondary school days when i came across to know someone. I met this person from somewhere. During that period of time, i was head over heels over her.

She was someone really cool. A leader herself. Someone who one can really depend on. I seriously used to be someone extremely negative. But it was because of her encouragement and faith in me over the years that kept me going and thinking positive. She was the one who also got me motivated to study and gained that excellent results for my O levels which was taken 3 years ago.

Under her encouragement, I went on to Australia to pursue my goal into the Hospitality sector. During my 1st year here, we constantly sms one another long-distance wise and she was someone extremely encouraging and by my side emotionally and mentally. To be honest, I was seriously madly and deeply in love with her to the extent that i bought a present for her immediately after getting my very 1st pay. It was something really pricey. I will always remember the night when i told her that i will be staying in Australia over a long period of time, instead of the initial planned 3 months, which became 33 months in the end. I remember the breakdown she had on the phone.

When i finally returned after a year in Australia, we met up, and i showed her my life in Australia. Being her, she kept on motivating me to chase after my dreams. She was really the woman of my dreams, someone strong, motivating, positive, someone who is always there for me when i needed someone. We had a promise with one another.. 5 years.. when we both are 21..

However, on that very night of January 2008, it was all over. I was so upset with her always throwing her temper at me, hurting my ego. It's okay to thrown temper at me, but not step me down and bring me down just because of mood swing. That is really too much. At the end, I completely let her go, took 1 whole year to forget her.

During the past 2 years after that very night, I realised that I have changed a lot. I began to fool around more than what i used to. I began loving the company of woman more and more. But however, each time i come across one, somehow there is always a part of them that reminds me of you. It might be the looks, their back view, their smell, their eyes, their smile or the words they say.

Almost 4 years has passed since we first met. Till today, I never knew whether during that time, my love was one sided or we both "liked" each other. To me, I was really serious about be together with her.

A lot of times I just want to tell her about how much i still miss her, despite not really talking to her and ignoring her for years, not really entertaining her. I really do. Each time when she appears online or when i scroll down my contact list, as i see her name, I just wanna send that sms or message to her, saying "I miss you very much.." or "I'm sorry for ignoring you and leaving you alone the past few years.." But at the end, I just didn't say it or do it. Because, somehow, she will always say something that will hurt me or i will be the insensitive one who will hurt her.

Anyway to conclude, even though it was a long time ago thing, but however if someone were to ask me today if i still have feelings for her, I will honestly say. Yes i do. I just want to let her know as well that all the achievements I've got over the years. I dedicate it to her.

This Sunday is your birthday. I doubt you will never get to read this but, take care love. Love you and miss you so much. So sorry that I can never become a good friend to you and sorry for never being there for you when you needed someone, just like how you were always there for me in the past. Happy Birthday =)

2010-04-28T17:36:00.000+08:00

I wrote this last night as i could not sleep really well..

Why not just post it out to share with everyone.. It's the thank you speech that i'm going to read out if i win tonight for the International Student of the year..

__________________________________________

I would like to take this time to firstly, thank everyone for coming here today to the award ceremony.

Before I came here today, I told myself this, that regardless of whether I win tonight or not, I will still continue to work hard and give my best and continue to be an ambassador of Polytechnic West in the industry and within the campus, not just locally, but overseas in the future as well.

My name is Benjamin, and I’m turning 19 mid this year. I was born and raised in Singapore and came here after my GCE O levels examination. I first started out my studies in Swan TAFE, the former polytechnic west in 2008 from Commercial cookery, Food and Beverage Service in Cert 4, Diploma of Hospitality Management and currently doing my Advanced Diploma in Hospitality Management.

Firstly, I would like to take this time to thank Heather Jones, coordinator of International Students studying Hospitality, for taking me into the school, when I was just an under-aged student and constantly looking after me when I was doing my studies here.

I would like to thank my mum, for sacrificing so much just to send me here to a foreign country to study. Thanks for all the love, care and support for me throughout all my life.

Thank my step-dad for looking after me, when my mum is not around, working so hard to provide for everyone in the family. Thanks for giving me money to get my 1^st set of uniform and tools for classes.

I would like to thank all my friends and family back home in Singapore, for always constantly sending their love and support all the way back home to me here. Thank you for always believing in me and keeping me strong and motivated for my work and studies here.

Thank my classmates, especially diploma group 1, for all the fun and joy and making my study experience here a fun-filled one.

Thank all my colleagues and ex-colleagues in Tony Roma’s and 399 Bar for teaching me so much and molding me into a better cook and bartender as the days go by, as well as always believing so much in me to progress on.

Thank all my lecturers, Angela Schlegel, Angela Lee, Kylie, Eugene Ursula for their time and hard work and their patience. Not forgetting all the baby-sitting when I was still and under aged student. Thanks for showing me what the hospitality industry is all about and making me fall in love with it deeper as I progress on in my studies here. Not forgetting Shaun Roetheli, for nominating me for this award, as well as his constant effort into spending lots of time, to mold me into preparation for World Skills State Waiter of the Year Competition, which I got 2^nd position in.

Thank my Father in heaven, Jesus Christ, my Lord and my Saviour.

Lastly, to me, Polytechnic West is not just about a place where we learn and gain knowledge and additional skills about a certain industry, it is about education only. It’s about building lives, as this place has indeed shown everyone what love, passion about doing something is all about, just like what everyone, especially the lecturers here are demonstrating. Polytechnic West over the past few years has given people like me a chance to learn and grow, as well as gain a life-long skill that gave me a dream, to believe and strive on to fight for what I really want to achieve. Thank You Polytechnic West.

Thank you everyone.

Relax

2010-04-25T22:38:00.002+08:00

Over the week,
MJ taught me something that i find it really really useful in cooking..
he told me that in order to cook tons of dishes and cope with the stress of the kitchen, but still producing great quality food that not only looks good, but taste good...
The key to it, is to relax...
No to be so tense up and stress yourself for nothing..

Wow.. Wise words from Abuji (father in korean, that's what we call him at Tony Roma's)

Victory Life Centre

2010-04-18T21:17:00.002+08:00

Today was the 1st day in almost 3 mths that I went back to Church.
I visited Margaret Court's Church, former world no. 1 tennis player.
It's call Victory Life Centre.
Nice place. Awesome experience.

I was just sharing with Jiayi earlier about my experience there in my email to her. So thought maybe i should take some parts and write it down here.

"......... Remember i sent you a sudden email on Monday? About during my quiet time, I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to go back to church? Yup, I obeyed and went to a church this morning. Honestly speaking, when i woke up this morning, got myself ready and hop onto the bus then train from home, as I was about to reach Glendalough Train station, where the church is near at, I began asking myself, what in the world am i doing when i could still be enjoying my sleep in bed? Never the less, i carried on and walked towards Victory Life Centre, which was about 700m away from the train station.

First step as I entered, I was immediately greeted by ushers, and I was at the bookshop and small cafe area where everyone from the 1st service was fellowshipping. I was lost and i seriously look lost and i headed towards the information desk to ask for direction. It is quite a small church, about 3 stories high, look like a warehouse. I was told to head upsairs to the 3rd storey, where their auditorium was at. Immediately, i was greeted by ushers again and the 2 door ushers gave me a friendly handshake. I was there at about 10.15am, about 15 minutes before the service started. As i look into the auditorium, which probably seats about 300 to 350, it was only 25 percent full. However, as time goes by, at about 10.29, there was this thing "1 minute" shown on the screen, and you could see that everyone started to get seated down. To my surprise, the auditorium was full of people. The screen counted down again at 30 seconds, 15 seconds, 5 seconds, and 1 second. Then, the worship leader started the service.

Praise and worship was good. Presence of God was there. Although i do not know the songs, but the songs were easy to learn. Catchy tunes and easy lyrics. There was actions to 1 of their praise songs, which was great. To be honest, I've never thought that Australia will have so many people worshipping God in 1 service altogether, and seeing them really on fire for God, even though being adults. After praise and worship, a pastor got the whole crowd to go around greeting each other. Although i was seated quite back, Pastor Margaret came up and gave me a friendly handshake saying hi to me. It was really an honour to meet her and even shake her hand. Hopefully as the weeks to come, before i leave, i get to take a picture with her.

When Pastor Margaret went up stage, I had a deja-vu. A sight that I have seen it myself before, but I have never been to the church before. As pastor kong mentioned before, deja vu happens because God has shown us a glimspe of eternity, it is a God thing. Therefore, one thing i know was, I should be there at the service just now. I was guided by the Holy Spirit there.

Pastor Margaret preached today. She talked about the Glory of God. The 1st point she mentioned today was about we, being what we speak of. The words that we speak will reflect on who we are. We can't blame anyone around us for becoming who we are. These words immediately struck me, 1st 2 minutes and i was convicted. Guilty. Being from a kitchen, I always blame the stress in the kitchen for making me swear like nobody's business all the time. Even until today, i struggle with swearing and cursing all day, as in the kitchen, saying the F word is like saying please and thank you. Immediately, i can't blame anyone for myself for wanting to rely on my own strength but not God's. Pastor also mentioned about us having a crown on our head, which is the glory of God. She also told us that we have to become the light, the light of the world that shines in the darkness, as we got the light from the glory of God.

She mentioned something which I am still wondering about today, which was "Faith is no higher than our mouths". I'm still wonder about that. I don't really understand what it means. But i suppose it means when we speak, we have to speak with faith and speak of faith, not just saying things for the sake of saying.

The part of the message today that really impacted me the most was, from Exodus 34:28 to 35 and a few others later about Moses. It was basically about Moses going up to Mount Sinai to seek God. Moses really spent a lot of time with God, he fasted and prayed. When he came down, he was shining with God's glory. However, that's not all. Moses really love everyone around him that he would be willing to fall on his face to pray to God, just so that God will forgive people around him. Pastor challenged us, asked us, whether have we or are we even willing to even humble ourselves so much before God, that we will fall on our face and pray to Him, for the loves one we have and for the places we love. Pastor was challenging us whether are we willing to fall on our face, and pray to God, for Australia, for our family, for our workplaces, for our businesses. Wow. Such simple thing, but then, it was really impacting to me. I began asking myself, when was the last time that I fall on my face just to pray to God, for people around me especially, when people are praying for me. I can't be selfish anymore, I need to humble myself before him more. But she also mentioned that when we seek God, seek Him for who he is, not for the good we are going to get from Him.

In closing, she mentioned that in order to get there, successful on the top, it's out of the obedience that we have towards God in our life that gets us there. To me, I want to be up there again, even though I have been up there before, but that was without God. Imagine that I'm up there with God, how high is he going to bring me again?

At the end, Pastor asked the whole hall to join hands, and we all prayed together. It was nice. The presence of God was so strong. Extremely strong that i felt like as though inside my spirit, it was stirring on the inside of me. I almost thought i was going to have a deliverance there. I felt so much lighter when i went out of the auditorium. I felt like being totally refresh. I felt like my burden is lighter. It was really awesome. Somehow, words just can't explain that feeling, but it was just amazing.

After service, I was invited to a visitor's lounge as it was my 1st time there. I met a few nice people and even a pastor. I told them that I was from Singapore and they began talking about City Harvest. They do know who Pastor Kong is. They say that he is a awesome guy. I was telling them about in CHC, how we don't really have the opportunity to get close to him as he is always busy and having people around him. They were saying, he's going to come again this year, but i forgotten to ask when. Hopefully, I'm still in Perth then, then i'm able to get a picture and hopefully meet him.

Overall, I felt like a changed person. I no longer feel tempted to lust and swear anymore. I can feel the peace of God in me. I'm really looking forward to go back there again next week =)"

I'll be back again soon =)
Take care people =)

Hmmmmmm................ Ponder to self..

2010-04-17T15:37:00.002+08:00

Ponder to self:

"why do all the really good girls in the world will always end up with bad guys or fall preys to them.. in the end, they will just end up being someone they should not have become or even change their kind of love interest.. why does this do not really happen to a super outback country like Australia? but to a super highly educated society like Singapore? is this what education is about?"

I wonder... arghhhh.. ngyentok!!

2010-04-14T00:02:00.001+08:00

how easy is it for a girl to fall for a guy??

From this day on.....

2010-04-11T02:02:00.002+08:00

I have enough of crying whenever I think about you..
It comes to the extend that those bloody watery things just roll down my cheeks subconsciously..
It's time to put and end to this..

From this day on..
I will be different..
I will be someone better..
I will work hard for my studies..
I will work hard for my career to brush up my cooking skills..
I will train my body to become fitter so that I can go into the army..

I have enough of all these..
I'm so sick and tired of everything already..
No more slack Ben..
This ain't a time for some fucking fooling around..
It's time to go ahead to gear 5..
No turning back...

April Fool's a joke..

2010-04-01T14:12:00.001+08:00

To me, April Fool's just nothing but a joke..
People, isn't it time to reflect on what the hell have you been doing with your 2010 the past 3 months??

Have you ever been hurt so badly??

2010-03-28T22:39:00.004+08:00

Have you ever been hurt so badly..
That you really treated that person like a really close friend..
Someone who you can be really honest to..
Someone who you can be yourself with comfortably..
Someone who you can totally trust
Someone who loves and cares for you for who you are
Someone who respects your no matter what
Someone who thinks of you think of whenever you are down..

I did have a friend like that..
Like i said.. I "DID"
Yes.. Past tense..
Because, of something that she told me, that made me don't want to be there for her anymore..
She shouldn't have said it the other night..
Until today, I just want to break off all ties between me and her..
Each time she try to come and talk to me..
I just shut myself off her..
Until that night, i just told her..
I can't face her anymore..
Each time i face her, I just don't know what to say..

All i know now is,
We can never be and go back to what we used to be already..
7 years of friendship.. Ruined in just 1 night..
That very night.. of January...
That night, when I was already very down..
You hurt me..
Goodbye my friend..

Thanks for being my friend..
At least for that 7 years..

Natural Disaster

2010-03-23T22:53:00.003+08:00

My 1st ever 1st Hand experience of a Natural Disaster happened yesterday..
It was a Serious Hail Storm..
It's where ice falls from the ice..

I experienced this once before..
But then, not the the extend that the hails were as big as golfballs..
Yes, no jokes.. Golf Balls..
Imagine it falling from a few thousand feet from the air (**faints**)
OUCH!!!!
People are just going into hospitals because of those hail stones hitting them..
It crashed and destroyed roofs, ceilings.. causing major damages..

Winds were blowing at 120km/hr.. OH MY GOSH..
u can see trees flying around,
brunches broken.. trees falling and crashing onto roads and houses..
Lamp post were blown down,
traffic lights broken..
Electricity gone.. 180,000 homes totally with no electricity..

Wow.. just scary..
My school was flooded in some areas.. The B block's was atrociously ridiculous..
I was in the 2nd floor.. and there were tons of water dripping down from the ceiling..
it's a 4 storey building..
apparently, one of the ceilings collapsed and water started to come in..
It was a man-made waterfall in the staircase..

Can you ever imagine that such a thing could happen?
Although it was predicted..
But i never really expect that such heavy damage could be caused in just that few hours..
It's going to cost the West Australian Government 100 million dollars at estimation
totally for the repairs and such..

Wonder what's with mother nature yesterday.. hmmmmm..

Shallow Friendship

2010-03-16T02:31:00.000+08:00

Didn't expect that some friendship could be so shallow..
Wow..
Just Amazing..

2010-03-14T03:18:00.001+08:00

|3 3 |\| |3 3 |\| says:
*slap me please
(sn) -_-''' 忍 `[了解游戏规则後就努力别让自己犯错] |-) says:
*i wish i could

LOL...

2010-03-12T02:04:00.001+08:00

Disgusted.. Just feeling Disgusted..
With your actions and thoughts..

Cooking

2010-03-10T23:04:00.002+08:00

Cooking is fun.. Definitely..
However, it brings out the worst of a human being..
Just like how it brings the worst out of me..
Making me doing things and saying things that people who know me vaguely will be shocked..
Especially my CG members..

Goodbye girl...

2010-03-01T23:46:00.003+08:00

Over the weekend,
I saw my 1st ever crush of Australia,
I met her a long time ago when i 1st came to australia..
She has really changed a lot..
Not just only in character, where she looks happier and more out-going out,
but she has become more beautiful as well..
Somehow when i saw her, i felt a "thud" in my heart, and it was really beating..
Somehow, I felt that all my confidence disappeared..
It's like she has drifted so far away..
I can't bring myself to talk to her..

All i could do in the end,
was to stay in one corner,
watch her and remain silent..
And see her walk away..
Further and Further...
Good bye girl..
Take care..
Will always remember you definitely..

Dear Mr Benben

2010-02-22T21:11:00.003+08:00

Dear Mr Benben,
Here's your itenary for this upcoming week:

Complete S.W.O.T for University Club @ UWA
Marketing Promotion and Review Method for Bistro
Cleaning Checklist for Bistro's Closing Procedure
Feedback Form - Bistro
Stock-taking Sheet (Bistro)
Time out sheet for staff in Bistro
Marketing Part 1 - 4Ps
Complete Peformace Appraisal Checklist for Monitor Staff
Prepare yourself for your marketing assignment for your presentations
Recruit Staff Part 1 - Job Roles and Responsibilities
Marketing part 2 - Ideas to develop 3 Flyers for Greco's
Further thinking for Business Plan

Part 1 to 6 is to be done by Thursday (25th Feb Night)
Part 7 onwards is to be done over the weekends

Just to let you know that you have
- Badminton at Rosmonyne with Willy at 7.30pm on tuesday (call ben chai to ask about racket)
- Badminton at Vic Park (remember to pay norm)
- Badminton Be Active Tournament at Kingsway 9am Saturday
- Work Wed, 9.30am to 2pm
- Work Thurs, 5pm to 10 pm
- Lunch Appointment with Mihee and Mel, Wed 2pm
- Make booking at Bentley Pines Restaurant for Mihee (4th March), and Family (17 March)

That's all for now sir, any problems please update me again.

Regards,
Your Secretary,
Benjamin Tan =)))

How to deal with bloody negative idiots?? =.="

2010-02-15T02:13:00.004+08:00

I wonder about something..
How do you tell someone that you're so sick and tired of that person's negativity that at times, when that person is being negative agian, you just wanna strangle that person, or just close the conversation, or just wanna scream at that person..
Because all the time, due to this, you just feel so exhausted.. Feel like you're wasting your time at times.. It's just so damn bloody frustrating..
How how how??? Hmmmmm...

Compassion

2010-02-07T01:54:00.003+08:00

Teach me how to love..
Just like how You've first love me..
Show me what's it's like, to have compassion for others..
Just like how You've cared and understand everyone of their plight...

New Year = New Blog

2010-02-04T02:38:00.003+08:00

1st Blog post of this New Blog..
1st post of the year 2010.. What's the best way to start off with something extremely positive and awesome..
Spent most of my time spending time at Marsiling Secondary..
With Badminton especially,
as a senior, it's seriously my pleasure to see my juniors all grown up,
to become BIG boys and girls =)
Bigger not only in size, but mental and emotional capacity as well =)
Shall not talk more about the trip back, but it's worth it.. 6 out of 10 for the trip back =)

To start off the year, it's obviously to start off with a really awesome book..
This was presented by Jiayi to me while we were waiting for my flight at changi airport on sunday..
Out of the 100 lessons inside, i've only read 4..
And 4 was simple awesome enough to make me think and reflect about my life..
This book is titled: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, Omnibus - Written by the late Richard Carlson..
So far, i would rate 9.5 out of 10 stars for it..
And you guys know, that if Benben rates it that high, it's a MUST READ!!!

So shall share with everyone what this book about, it's a bout "Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over your Life"
It's written a form in a manner similar to a devotional diary.. Like a story a day kind of thingy..

Lesson 1: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
This is like an introduction. As human beings, we are always worrying..
Regardless of whether is it about big or small things, we are always worrying and thinking about it, often ended up stressing ourselves bcoz of it..
This has taught me to be someone more open, like what aussies love to say "No Worries Mate"
Really, there are indeed a lot of things that are not worth "sweating" for..

Lesson 2: Make Peace With Imperfection
I feel that so far, this chapter was like the 1st stepping stone to make me realise a very important factor..
I'm someone who worries about anything and everything.. Worrying that things are not done perfect enough.. Always striving for better and better even though i'm extremely good or exceptionally good at something..
But then, there I am, still stressing up for nothing..
There is something written in this lesson that i really love a lot..
"As you elimiate the need for perfection in all areas of your life, you will begin toe discover the perfection in life itself" - Awesome Statement
I remember that last time, as a sports leader president, whenever i was overall IC for an event,
I will want an event to become flawless..
I will end up training those under me to become people who can't afford to make mistake..
So in general - i'm a perfectionist =.="
But now, I feel relief.. it's like i'm able to see more beauty in life and things..
Still in the progress of it.. But aren't things around us awesome already??
How awesome God's creations are =)
Just WOW!!! ABSOLUTELY WOW!!!~

Lesson 3: Let Go of the idea that Gentle Relaxed People can't be Superachievers
This is another thing that suits me.. As i always stressed up over everything..
As mentioned before, and being a human being, i stress myself up for nothing all the time..
I'm a perfectionist that wants everything done perfectly.. NO ROOM FOR MISTAKES!!!
But then, as I learn the need to relax, and not having to stress myself up over things that are not worth stressing for, i begin to realise that most superachievers, are people who're like that..
Just look at leaders around us, very successful ones..
I've ever wondered, why is it that people in 399 bar, who are so successful,
can be so relaxed when they're under so much pressure..
It was then i realised that, they know what to stress about and what not to!!!
WOW!!!~ Just WOW!!!~~

Lesson 4: Be Aware of the Snowball Effect of your Thinking
In our thinking, there is such thing known as a snowball effect.. For example, if today, we were to receive a phonecall from someone, at this time of the day, 12am.. Just before u head to sacks.. And that call regards an appointment the next day..
What is the next thing that will come to our mind??
Most cases, it'll be "OH NO!! I NEED TO MEET THAT PERSON TMR, what shall i do after that?? Where am I gonna visit him from, how am i going down to travel"
See, everyone does that..
No point being over-obsessed with what you have to do tmr just bcoz you're reminded about tmr... No point!!
In the end, we'll only end up getting overwhelmed by those limitations..
SO RELAX!! Go with the flow..
No point stressing ourselves up for nothing!!!

WOW!!!~~ WOW!!!!!!!~~ JUST WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~

So guys.. what do you all think??
IT'S ABOUT TIME NOW TO START BUYING THIS BOOK TO READ!!!
Really wanna thank N246 & W193 for the book and the momento that u guys made for me..
Really really appreciate it.. Was almost in tears.. Never felt so loved in a CG before =)