Monsieur Ben
Bonjour chacun =)))
Mon nom est Benjamin Tan,
Dix-neuf ans cette année,
Juste accompli un cours sur l'Administration d;Hospitalité en Australie,
en attendant de servir mon service militaire bientôt,
J'aime cuisiner et bartending un alot,
J'aspire à briller pour Dieu dans le secteur d'hospitalité un jour
Network with me today =))
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Network with me today =))
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Thursday, May 27, 2010
, 12:16 AM
⇨How long more...
It all started out back a few years ago when i was back as a student in my secondary school days when i came across to know someone. I met this person from somewhere. During that period of time, i was head over heels over her.
She was someone really cool. A leader herself. Someone who one can really depend on. I seriously used to be someone extremely negative. But it was because of her encouragement and faith in me over the years that kept me going and thinking positive. She was the one who also got me motivated to study and gained that excellent results for my O levels which was taken 3 years ago.
Under her encouragement, I went on to Australia to pursue my goal into the Hospitality sector. During my 1st year here, we constantly sms one another long-distance wise and she was someone extremely encouraging and by my side emotionally and mentally. To be honest, I was seriously madly and deeply in love with her to the extent that i bought a present for her immediately after getting my very 1st pay. It was something really pricey. I will always remember the night when i told her that i will be staying in Australia over a long period of time, instead of the initial planned 3 months, which became 33 months in the end. I remember the breakdown she had on the phone.
When i finally returned after a year in Australia, we met up, and i showed her my life in Australia. Being her, she kept on motivating me to chase after my dreams. She was really the woman of my dreams, someone strong, motivating, positive, someone who is always there for me when i needed someone. We had a promise with one another.. 5 years.. when we both are 21..
However, on that very night of January 2008, it was all over. I was so upset with her always throwing her temper at me, hurting my ego. It's okay to thrown temper at me, but not step me down and bring me down just because of mood swing. That is really too much. At the end, I completely let her go, took 1 whole year to forget her.
During the past 2 years after that very night, I realised that I have changed a lot. I began to fool around more than what i used to. I began loving the company of woman more and more. But however, each time i come across one, somehow there is always a part of them that reminds me of you. It might be the looks, their back view, their smell, their eyes, their smile or the words they say.
Almost 4 years has passed since we first met. Till today, I never knew whether during that time, my love was one sided or we both "liked" each other. To me, I was really serious about be together with her.
A lot of times I just want to tell her about how much i still miss her, despite not really talking to her and ignoring her for years, not really entertaining her. I really do. Each time when she appears online or when i scroll down my contact list, as i see her name, I just wanna send that sms or message to her, saying "I miss you very much.." or "I'm sorry for ignoring you and leaving you alone the past few years.." But at the end, I just didn't say it or do it. Because, somehow, she will always say something that will hurt me or i will be the insensitive one who will hurt her.
Anyway to conclude, even though it was a long time ago thing, but however if someone were to ask me today if i still have feelings for her, I will honestly say. Yes i do. I just want to let her know as well that all the achievements I've got over the years. I dedicate it to her.
This Sunday is your birthday. I doubt you will never get to read this but, take care love. Love you and miss you so much. So sorry that I can never become a good friend to you and sorry for never being there for you when you needed someone, just like how you were always there for me in the past. Happy Birthday =)
She was someone really cool. A leader herself. Someone who one can really depend on. I seriously used to be someone extremely negative. But it was because of her encouragement and faith in me over the years that kept me going and thinking positive. She was the one who also got me motivated to study and gained that excellent results for my O levels which was taken 3 years ago.
Under her encouragement, I went on to Australia to pursue my goal into the Hospitality sector. During my 1st year here, we constantly sms one another long-distance wise and she was someone extremely encouraging and by my side emotionally and mentally. To be honest, I was seriously madly and deeply in love with her to the extent that i bought a present for her immediately after getting my very 1st pay. It was something really pricey. I will always remember the night when i told her that i will be staying in Australia over a long period of time, instead of the initial planned 3 months, which became 33 months in the end. I remember the breakdown she had on the phone.
When i finally returned after a year in Australia, we met up, and i showed her my life in Australia. Being her, she kept on motivating me to chase after my dreams. She was really the woman of my dreams, someone strong, motivating, positive, someone who is always there for me when i needed someone. We had a promise with one another.. 5 years.. when we both are 21..
However, on that very night of January 2008, it was all over. I was so upset with her always throwing her temper at me, hurting my ego. It's okay to thrown temper at me, but not step me down and bring me down just because of mood swing. That is really too much. At the end, I completely let her go, took 1 whole year to forget her.
During the past 2 years after that very night, I realised that I have changed a lot. I began to fool around more than what i used to. I began loving the company of woman more and more. But however, each time i come across one, somehow there is always a part of them that reminds me of you. It might be the looks, their back view, their smell, their eyes, their smile or the words they say.
Almost 4 years has passed since we first met. Till today, I never knew whether during that time, my love was one sided or we both "liked" each other. To me, I was really serious about be together with her.
A lot of times I just want to tell her about how much i still miss her, despite not really talking to her and ignoring her for years, not really entertaining her. I really do. Each time when she appears online or when i scroll down my contact list, as i see her name, I just wanna send that sms or message to her, saying "I miss you very much.." or "I'm sorry for ignoring you and leaving you alone the past few years.." But at the end, I just didn't say it or do it. Because, somehow, she will always say something that will hurt me or i will be the insensitive one who will hurt her.
Anyway to conclude, even though it was a long time ago thing, but however if someone were to ask me today if i still have feelings for her, I will honestly say. Yes i do. I just want to let her know as well that all the achievements I've got over the years. I dedicate it to her.
This Sunday is your birthday. I doubt you will never get to read this but, take care love. Love you and miss you so much. So sorry that I can never become a good friend to you and sorry for never being there for you when you needed someone, just like how you were always there for me in the past. Happy Birthday =)
Labels: emo, no turning back, Thoughts and Feelings