Veillis avec moi, le mellieur est encore a venir

It all started out back a few years ago when i was back as a student in my secondary school days when i came across to know someone. I met this person from somewhere. During that period of time, i was head over heels over her.

She was someone really cool. A leader herself. Someone who one can really depend on. I seriously used to be someone extremely negative. But it was because of her encouragement and faith in me over the years that kept me going and thinking positive. She was the one who also got me motivated to study and gained that excellent results for my O levels which was taken 3 years ago.

Under her encouragement, I went on to Australia to pursue my goal into the Hospitality sector. During my 1st year here, we constantly sms one another long-distance wise and she was someone extremely encouraging and by my side emotionally and mentally. To be honest, I was seriously madly and deeply in love with her to the extent that i bought a present for her immediately after getting my very 1st pay. It was something really pricey. I will always remember the night when i told her that i will be staying in Australia over a long period of time, instead of the initial planned 3 months, which became 33 months in the end. I remember the breakdown she had on the phone.

When i finally returned after a year in Australia, we met up, and i showed her my life in Australia. Being her, she kept on motivating me to chase after my dreams. She was really the woman of my dreams, someone strong, motivating, positive, someone who is always there for me when i needed someone. We had a promise with one another.. 5 years.. when we both are 21..

However, on that very night of January 2008, it was all over. I was so upset with her always throwing her temper at me, hurting my ego. It's okay to thrown temper at me, but not step me down and bring me down just because of mood swing. That is really too much. At the end, I completely let her go, took 1 whole year to forget her.

During the past 2 years after that very night, I realised that I have changed a lot. I began to fool around more than what i used to. I began loving the company of woman more and more. But however, each time i come across one, somehow there is always a part of them that reminds me of you. It might be the looks, their back view, their smell, their eyes, their smile or the words they say.

Almost 4 years has passed since we first met. Till today, I never knew whether during that time, my love was one sided or we both "liked" each other. To me, I was really serious about be together with her.

A lot of times I just want to tell her about how much i still miss her, despite not really talking to her and ignoring her for years, not really entertaining her. I really do. Each time when she appears online or when i scroll down my contact list, as i see her name, I just wanna send that sms or message to her, saying "I miss you very much.." or "I'm sorry for ignoring you and leaving you alone the past few years.." But at the end, I just didn't say it or do it. Because, somehow, she will always say something that will hurt me or i will be the insensitive one who will hurt her.

Anyway to conclude, even though it was a long time ago thing, but however if someone were to ask me today if i still have feelings for her, I will honestly say. Yes i do. I just want to let her know as well that all the achievements I've got over the years. I dedicate it to her.

This Sunday is your birthday. I doubt you will never get to read this but, take care love. Love you and miss you so much. So sorry that I can never become a good friend to you and sorry for never being there for you when you needed someone, just like how you were always there for me in the past. Happy Birthday =)

Labels: emo, no turning back, Thoughts and Feelings

I wrote this last night as i could not sleep really well..

Why not just post it out to share with everyone.. It's the thank you speech that i'm going to read out if i win tonight for the International Student of the year..

__________________________________________

I would like to take this time to firstly, thank everyone for coming here today to the award ceremony.

Before I came here today, I told myself this, that regardless of whether I win tonight or not, I will still continue to work hard and give my best and continue to be an ambassador of Polytechnic West in the industry and within the campus, not just locally, but overseas in the future as well.

My name is Benjamin, and I’m turning 19 mid this year. I was born and raised in Singapore and came here after my GCE O levels examination. I first started out my studies in Swan TAFE, the former polytechnic west in 2008 from Commercial cookery, Food and Beverage Service in Cert 4, Diploma of Hospitality Management and currently doing my Advanced Diploma in Hospitality Management.

Firstly, I would like to take this time to thank Heather Jones, coordinator of International Students studying Hospitality, for taking me into the school, when I was just an under-aged student and constantly looking after me when I was doing my studies here.

I would like to thank my mum, for sacrificing so much just to send me here to a foreign country to study. Thanks for all the love, care and support for me throughout all my life.

Thank my step-dad for looking after me, when my mum is not around, working so hard to provide for everyone in the family. Thanks for giving me money to get my 1^st set of uniform and tools for classes.

I would like to thank all my friends and family back home in Singapore, for always constantly sending their love and support all the way back home to me here. Thank you for always believing in me and keeping me strong and motivated for my work and studies here.

Thank my classmates, especially diploma group 1, for all the fun and joy and making my study experience here a fun-filled one.

Thank all my colleagues and ex-colleagues in Tony Roma’s and 399 Bar for teaching me so much and molding me into a better cook and bartender as the days go by, as well as always believing so much in me to progress on.

Thank all my lecturers, Angela Schlegel, Angela Lee, Kylie, Eugene Ursula for their time and hard work and their patience. Not forgetting all the baby-sitting when I was still and under aged student. Thanks for showing me what the hospitality industry is all about and making me fall in love with it deeper as I progress on in my studies here. Not forgetting Shaun Roetheli, for nominating me for this award, as well as his constant effort into spending lots of time, to mold me into preparation for World Skills State Waiter of the Year Competition, which I got 2^nd position in.

Thank my Father in heaven, Jesus Christ, my Lord and my Saviour.

Lastly, to me, Polytechnic West is not just about a place where we learn and gain knowledge and additional skills about a certain industry, it is about education only. It’s about building lives, as this place has indeed shown everyone what love, passion about doing something is all about, just like what everyone, especially the lecturers here are demonstrating. Polytechnic West over the past few years has given people like me a chance to learn and grow, as well as gain a life-long skill that gave me a dream, to believe and strive on to fight for what I really want to achieve. Thank You Polytechnic West.

Thank you everyone.

Labels: no turning back, random, Thoughts and Feelings