Network with me today =))
Facebook Twitter
She was someone really cool. A leader herself. Someone who one can really depend on. I seriously used to be someone extremely negative. But it was because of her encouragement and faith in me over the years that kept me going and thinking positive. She was the one who also got me motivated to study and gained that excellent results for my O levels which was taken 3 years ago.
Under her encouragement, I went on to Australia to pursue my goal into the Hospitality sector. During my 1st year here, we constantly sms one another long-distance wise and she was someone extremely encouraging and by my side emotionally and mentally. To be honest, I was seriously madly and deeply in love with her to the extent that i bought a present for her immediately after getting my very 1st pay. It was something really pricey. I will always remember the night when i told her that i will be staying in Australia over a long period of time, instead of the initial planned 3 months, which became 33 months in the end. I remember the breakdown she had on the phone.
When i finally returned after a year in Australia, we met up, and i showed her my life in Australia. Being her, she kept on motivating me to chase after my dreams. She was really the woman of my dreams, someone strong, motivating, positive, someone who is always there for me when i needed someone. We had a promise with one another.. 5 years.. when we both are 21..
However, on that very night of January 2008, it was all over. I was so upset with her always throwing her temper at me, hurting my ego. It's okay to thrown temper at me, but not step me down and bring me down just because of mood swing. That is really too much. At the end, I completely let her go, took 1 whole year to forget her.
During the past 2 years after that very night, I realised that I have changed a lot. I began to fool around more than what i used to. I began loving the company of woman more and more. But however, each time i come across one, somehow there is always a part of them that reminds me of you. It might be the looks, their back view, their smell, their eyes, their smile or the words they say.
Almost 4 years has passed since we first met. Till today, I never knew whether during that time, my love was one sided or we both "liked" each other. To me, I was really serious about be together with her.
A lot of times I just want to tell her about how much i still miss her, despite not really talking to her and ignoring her for years, not really entertaining her. I really do. Each time when she appears online or when i scroll down my contact list, as i see her name, I just wanna send that sms or message to her, saying "I miss you very much.." or "I'm sorry for ignoring you and leaving you alone the past few years.." But at the end, I just didn't say it or do it. Because, somehow, she will always say something that will hurt me or i will be the insensitive one who will hurt her.
Anyway to conclude, even though it was a long time ago thing, but however if someone were to ask me today if i still have feelings for her, I will honestly say. Yes i do. I just want to let her know as well that all the achievements I've got over the years. I dedicate it to her.
This Sunday is your birthday. I doubt you will never get to read this but, take care love. Love you and miss you so much. So sorry that I can never become a good friend to you and sorry for never being there for you when you needed someone, just like how you were always there for me in the past. Happy Birthday =)
Labels: emo, no turning back, Thoughts and Feelings
I wrote this last night as i could not sleep really well..
Why not just post it out to share with everyone.. It's the thank you speech that i'm going to read out if i win tonight for the International Student of the year..
__________________________________________
I would like to take this time to firstly, thank everyone for coming here today to the award ceremony.
Before I came here today, I told myself this, that regardless of whether I win tonight or not, I will still continue to work hard and give my best and continue to be an ambassador of Polytechnic West in the industry and within the campus, not just locally, but overseas in the future as well.
My name is Benjamin, and I’m turning 19 mid this year. I was born and raised in Singapore and came here after my GCE O levels examination. I first started out my studies in Swan TAFE, the former polytechnic west in 2008 from Commercial cookery, Food and Beverage Service in Cert 4, Diploma of Hospitality Management and currently doing my Advanced Diploma in Hospitality Management.
Firstly, I would like to take this time to thank Heather Jones, coordinator of International Students studying Hospitality, for taking me into the school, when I was just an under-aged student and constantly looking after me when I was doing my studies here.
I would like to thank my mum, for sacrificing so much just to send me here to a foreign country to study. Thanks for all the love, care and support for me throughout all my life.
Thank my step-dad for looking after me, when my mum is not around, working so hard to provide for everyone in the family. Thanks for giving me money to get my 1st set of uniform and tools for classes.
I would like to thank all my friends and family back home in Singapore, for always constantly sending their love and support all the way back home to me here. Thank you for always believing in me and keeping me strong and motivated for my work and studies here.
Thank my classmates, especially diploma group 1, for all the fun and joy and making my study experience here a fun-filled one.
Thank all my colleagues and ex-colleagues in Tony Roma’s and 399 Bar for teaching me so much and molding me into a better cook and bartender as the days go by, as well as always believing so much in me to progress on.
Thank all my lecturers, Angela Schlegel, Angela Lee, Kylie, Eugene Ursula for their time and hard work and their patience. Not forgetting all the baby-sitting when I was still and under aged student. Thanks for showing me what the hospitality industry is all about and making me fall in love with it deeper as I progress on in my studies here. Not forgetting Shaun Roetheli, for nominating me for this award, as well as his constant effort into spending lots of time, to mold me into preparation for World Skills State Waiter of the Year Competition, which I got 2nd position in.
Thank my Father in heaven, Jesus Christ, my Lord and my Saviour.
Lastly, to me, Polytechnic West is not just about a place where we learn and gain knowledge and additional skills about a certain industry, it is about education only. It’s about building lives, as this place has indeed shown everyone what love, passion about doing something is all about, just like what everyone, especially the lecturers here are demonstrating. Polytechnic West over the past few years has given people like me a chance to learn and grow, as well as gain a life-long skill that gave me a dream, to believe and strive on to fight for what I really want to achieve. Thank You Polytechnic West.
Thank you everyone.
Labels: no turning back, random, Thoughts and Feelings
MJ taught me something that i find it really really useful in cooking..
he told me that in order to cook tons of dishes and cope with the stress of the kitchen, but still producing great quality food that not only looks good, but taste good...
The key to it, is to relax...
No to be so tense up and stress yourself for nothing..
Wow.. Wise words from Abuji (father in korean, that's what we call him at Tony Roma's)
Labels: cooking, Thoughts and Feelings
"why do all the really good girls in the world will always end up with bad guys or fall preys to them.. in the end, they will just end up being someone they should not have become or even change their kind of love interest.. why does this do not really happen to a super outback country like Australia? but to a super highly educated society like Singapore? is this what education is about?"
I wonder... arghhhh.. ngyentok!!
Labels: Thoughts and Feelings
Labels: random, Thoughts and Feelings
It comes to the extend that those bloody watery things just roll down my cheeks subconsciously..
It's time to put and end to this..
From this day on..
I will be different..
I will be someone better..
I will work hard for my studies..
I will work hard for my career to brush up my cooking skills..
I will train my body to become fitter so that I can go into the army..
I have enough of all these..
I'm so sick and tired of everything already..
No more slack Ben..
This ain't a time for some fucking fooling around..
It's time to go ahead to gear 5..
No turning back...
Labels: decision making, no turning back, Thoughts and Feelings
That you really treated that person like a really close friend..
Someone who you can be really honest to..
Someone who you can be yourself with comfortably..
Someone who you can totally trust
Someone who loves and cares for you for who you are
Someone who respects your no matter what
Someone who thinks of you think of whenever you are down..
I did have a friend like that..
Like i said.. I "DID"
Yes.. Past tense..
Because, of something that she told me, that made me don't want to be there for her anymore..
She shouldn't have said it the other night..
Until today, I just want to break off all ties between me and her..
Each time she try to come and talk to me..
I just shut myself off her..
Until that night, i just told her..
I can't face her anymore..
Each time i face her, I just don't know what to say..
All i know now is,
We can never be and go back to what we used to be already..
7 years of friendship.. Ruined in just 1 night..
That very night.. of January...
That night, when I was already very down..
You hurt me..
Goodbye my friend..
Thanks for being my friend..
At least for that 7 years..
Labels: random, Thoughts and Feelings
Wow..
Just Amazing..
Labels: random, Thoughts and Feelings
With your actions and thoughts..
Labels: random, Thoughts and Feelings
However, it brings out the worst of a human being..
Just like how it brings the worst out of me..
Making me doing things and saying things that people who know me vaguely will be shocked..
Especially my CG members..
Labels: Australia, cooking, random, Thoughts and Feelings
I saw my 1st ever crush of Australia,
I met her a long time ago when i 1st came to australia..
She has really changed a lot..
Not just only in character, where she looks happier and more out-going out,
but she has become more beautiful as well..
Somehow when i saw her, i felt a "thud" in my heart, and it was really beating..
Somehow, I felt that all my confidence disappeared..
It's like she has drifted so far away..
I can't bring myself to talk to her..
All i could do in the end,
was to stay in one corner,
watch her and remain silent..
And see her walk away..
Further and Further...
Good bye girl..
Take care..
Will always remember you definitely..
Labels: Australia, random, Thoughts and Feelings
How do you tell someone that you're so sick and tired of that person's negativity that at times, when that person is being negative agian, you just wanna strangle that person, or just close the conversation, or just wanna scream at that person..
Because all the time, due to this, you just feel so exhausted.. Feel like you're wasting your time at times.. It's just so damn bloody frustrating..
How how how??? Hmmmmm...
Labels: random, Thoughts and Feelings
Just like how You've first love me..
Show me what's it's like, to have compassion for others..
Just like how You've cared and understand everyone of their plight...
Labels: Thoughts and Feelings
1st post of the year 2010.. What's the best way to start off with something extremely positive and awesome..
Spent most of my time spending time at Marsiling Secondary..
With Badminton especially,
as a senior, it's seriously my pleasure to see my juniors all grown up,
to become BIG boys and girls =)
Bigger not only in size, but mental and emotional capacity as well =)
Shall not talk more about the trip back, but it's worth it.. 6 out of 10 for the trip back =)
To start off the year, it's obviously to start off with a really awesome book..This was presented by Jiayi to me while we were waiting for my flight at changi airport on sunday..
Out of the 100 lessons inside, i've only read 4..
And 4 was simple awesome enough to make me think and reflect about my life..
This book is titled: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, Omnibus - Written by the late Richard Carlson..
So far, i would rate 9.5 out of 10 stars for it..
And you guys know, that if Benben rates it that high, it's a MUST READ!!!
So shall share with everyone what this book about, it's a bout "Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over your Life"
It's written a form in a manner similar to a devotional diary.. Like a story a day kind of thingy..
Lesson 1: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
This is like an introduction. As human beings, we are always worrying..
Regardless of whether is it about big or small things, we are always worrying and thinking about it, often ended up stressing ourselves bcoz of it..
This has taught me to be someone more open, like what aussies love to say "No Worries Mate"
Really, there are indeed a lot of things that are not worth "sweating" for..
Lesson 2: Make Peace With Imperfection
I feel that so far, this chapter was like the 1st stepping stone to make me realise a very important factor..
I'm someone who worries about anything and everything.. Worrying that things are not done perfect enough.. Always striving for better and better even though i'm extremely good or exceptionally good at something..
But then, there I am, still stressing up for nothing..
There is something written in this lesson that i really love a lot..
"As you elimiate the need for perfection in all areas of your life, you will begin toe discover the perfection in life itself" - Awesome Statement
I remember that last time, as a sports leader president, whenever i was overall IC for an event,
I will want an event to become flawless..
I will end up training those under me to become people who can't afford to make mistake..
So in general - i'm a perfectionist =.="
But now, I feel relief.. it's like i'm able to see more beauty in life and things..
Still in the progress of it.. But aren't things around us awesome already??
How awesome God's creations are =)
Just WOW!!! ABSOLUTELY WOW!!!~
Lesson 3: Let Go of the idea that Gentle Relaxed People can't be Superachievers
This is another thing that suits me.. As i always stressed up over everything..
As mentioned before, and being a human being, i stress myself up for nothing all the time..
I'm a perfectionist that wants everything done perfectly.. NO ROOM FOR MISTAKES!!!
But then, as I learn the need to relax, and not having to stress myself up over things that are not worth stressing for, i begin to realise that most superachievers, are people who're like that..
Just look at leaders around us, very successful ones..
I've ever wondered, why is it that people in 399 bar, who are so successful,
can be so relaxed when they're under so much pressure..
It was then i realised that, they know what to stress about and what not to!!!
WOW!!!~ Just WOW!!!~~
Lesson 4: Be Aware of the Snowball Effect of your Thinking
In our thinking, there is such thing known as a snowball effect.. For example, if today, we were to receive a phonecall from someone, at this time of the day, 12am.. Just before u head to sacks.. And that call regards an appointment the next day..
What is the next thing that will come to our mind??
Most cases, it'll be "OH NO!! I NEED TO MEET THAT PERSON TMR, what shall i do after that?? Where am I gonna visit him from, how am i going down to travel"
See, everyone does that..
No point being over-obsessed with what you have to do tmr just bcoz you're reminded about tmr... No point!!
In the end, we'll only end up getting overwhelmed by those limitations..
SO RELAX!! Go with the flow..
No point stressing ourselves up for nothing!!!
WOW!!!~~ WOW!!!!!!!~~ JUST WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~
So guys.. what do you all think??
IT'S ABOUT TIME NOW TO START BUYING THIS BOOK TO READ!!!
Really wanna thank N246 & W193 for the book and the momento that u guys made for me..
Really really appreciate it.. Was almost in tears.. Never felt so loved in a CG before =)
Labels: Australia, Badminton, Books, MSL, Singapore, Thoughts and Feelings